Discarded Emotion
by Gray Note
Summary: this is just a one shot. please read and review. lavi and lenalee or something. rated T to be safe. Please Read Souls Crossing Time too thank you!


Disclaimer: I don't own Man.

G.N: Hi. I will try to post this one shot story. Maybe I'll do some Robin Walker (the girl version of Allen Walker in Hishino's One shot manga: Zone) paired with Lavi and Kanda. But that would be in a while because I'm bounded by my job. I hope you like this one.

Discarded Emotion

"Lavi!"

Knock-knock.

"Lavi, I know you're inside." The voice said trying to make the bookman out of his room. He hasn't showed up the whole day, which made the person at the door worry or should I say worrying is what that person knows best.

The red haired guy with the eyepatch and the green bandana tired to get up from his bed due to the annoying voice that woke him up from his sleep. That was the first time he slept soundly after a week of not being able to sleep. Something was keeping his thoughts awake for a couple of days after his mission with his fellow exorcists. He tried to get some fresh air the succeeding days but it doesn't help him to sleep well until this morning. He finally slept and woke up again because of someone who is constantly knocking at his door.

"Wait a minute, Lenalee." Lavi said as he picked up his jacket from the chair near his bed. His good sleep was ruined but he couldn't let her stay outside like that. It was not manly of him if he did. Covering his mouth with his hand, he ended the long yawn and reached for the doorknob. Wiping his teary eyes because of his sleep, he smiled at the girl in front of him.

"I'm so sorry, Lavi." Lenalee apologized as she looked at his eyes with confidence. "I didn't know you're sleeping."

"Nah. It's okay!" Lavi replied keeping the grin on his face. "So, what's up?"

"Oh. I thought that you haven't eaten anything so I decided to drop by and give you something to eat." She smiled at him. The usual small fragile smile that kept him forgetting of whom he was and the restrictions of his job.

"Really?" Lavi's eyes searched for the food that the girl made. He was not that surprise when he saw what she made. Not these again.

"Yeah, I hope you like my new and improved mitarashi dangoes." She proudly said confident about her cooking. The first time she made dangoes, Lavi felt that he was about to throw up. He didn't show it because he might hurt her and discourage her in some way. He wouldn't like it either. Even though he really looked hesitant, he slowly reached for one stick of the white food. This time, she finally got it right.

"This tastes good, Lenalee!" He said as he gobbled up the white food. "I'm glad you made a lot. Can I have one more?"

"Yeah. Sure!" She smiled in returned. A soft, tender smile appeared on her flawless face. She was indeed beautiful and blooming at the age of 17. That's why Komui often worries that she might already like someone or someone likes her at this point. It was like horror to Komui if any of that happens.

Smile for me

Like you always do.

Your eyes tell me

I am loved by you.

Her smile slowly faded as she hesitantly asked the question that bottled up inside her for more than a month now. She was hiding this emotion and tried to be busy at all times to somehow relieve her pain. But that didn't seem to help her. The bookman noticed her sudden change of mood. He knew what she would ask next. He got tired of it by now.

"Did you find Allen-kun?" She asked in a soft shaky voice.

"No. But we are still looking for him." Lavi said trying to encourage the lady who was about to cry. He didn't want to see those precious droplets that a woman with a pure heart possesses. "We'll find him soon so please don't worry too much."

"I know. It's just that I'm not..."

"He promised remember. He'll be back." Lavi interrupted. "You'll be the first to know when we find him."

"Thank you, Lavi." Lenalee said bowing down trying not to have any eye contact. "You're a great friend that Allen and I have. Thank you very much!"

"No problem. You can count on me." The pain hurts. Slowly but it shatters him from the inside. He never knew how much he would be attached to that girl. All he could do is keep it inside. He is a bookman after all. He discarded that emotion long ago. He must not feel any attachment to these kinds of people who are just small pieces of hidden history that he needed to record. Just like her, Lenalee Lee, who is slowly walking away from him.

"Lenalee..." He called out her name. His heart is overjoyed whenever he says her name but his mind tells him that he cannot.

"What is it, Lavi?"

Gasping for air, he felt the need to tell her what he feels. She needed to know but he can't say it. He tried once but it didn't work out. She is attached to his best friend, the white haired exorcist, who is currently missing after the incident of Alma Karma. He understood his reason on doing this. He just wants to keep Lenalee safe from the Noah who is currently consuming his identity. That's the Allen he knows, self-sacrificing. He can't betray him. "No-nothing. Just. Just take care of yourself while he's gone. Don't over do it."

"Thanks Lavi."

Her smile is soothing. It calms the senses and gives a lot of reasons to continue living. He turned back to his room and locked his door once again. Funny. He thought. There is a funny feeling inside of him. Lavi leaned his back on the door and the rested his eyes on the ceiling. The eyepatch he wore somehow stopped what was about to flow. Slowly, he cried.

"I'm a bookman." He said trying to convince himself. "Emotions will only get in my way."

Pain seeks through my veins.

Slowly, it consumes me.

Hearts and broken chains,

I will never be the same.

(End)

G.N: hope you like it. :)

i think i'll do some allen x road. Please read and drop a review if you like it.

(Note: Souls Crossing Time is still on going. I'm kinda stuck on the akuma seeds arc and I'm thinking how will I move it to the next event. There are still lots of cliffy and surprises. I hope you are still reading it. Thank you very much.

To all Filipinos out there: Vote Wisely. Lol. I mean vote wisely. Every vote counts. Time to make a difference. God speed!)


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